Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Celebrity Tips 101 - Tip #1

Ok. So, if you are a famous so and so (or are planning on being one someday) who needs some advice on how to avoid the snarling packs of fans drooling over your are a few things to keep in mind...

If you're visiting:
  • Rent a normal car, escalades and mercedes don't exactly mesh

  • In addition to the auto-normalcy, buy a cheesy trinket at the gas station and hang it from the rear view mirror.

    Trust me, they're not hard to find. Dashboard dummies work too, bobble heads and all.

    If it were me, this would be my choice of sleuthing power. Nothing could cloak my appearance better than this!

    Believe it or not, this works. It says to oncoming eyes, "I'm a local, I'm not cool, I'm just a guy. Move along."

    If you're planning to live somewhere:
  • Hats and shades are always good

  • Don't share your name under any circumstances unless :
    1. you're pulled over, "Officer, I'm that awesome actor from that one show you love, want an autograph?"
    2. Just in case you need to seek immediate refuge inside a random person's home from a hoard of fans, things may go smoother if you let them in on it.

    --So, I know cash is quickly becoming obsolete, but if you don't want the entire kitchen staff at the Olive Garden hoopin and hollerin cause they saw your credit card, keep a stocked wallet.

  • Dogs are excellent cover. If you're walking a dog, you've lived here for years.


  1. Where'd this come from? So random...

  2. I found myself scanning cars for famous persons, so i decided to give some advice to those poor souls so they can avoid my schemish ways of spotting them. pathetic i know, and random.