Thursday, July 16, 2009

do it yourself.

Signs are great, they help us know where our exits are, where the best fast food is....

and then I see this.

"No, and again we have to clarify, no. We will NOT change your baby's diaper for you. Do it yourself."

And check out the compass rose, such a sophisticated gas station.

thought is was weird.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Frequent Flier Trials

I wouldn't say I'm a seasoned flier, but I know the general navigation tools to get me from one gate to the next, however, with a time limit, some lost luggage, and some silly security officials, I got a bit frazzled...

I had been flying all night, hadn't really peed in 36 hours, and desperately wanted to get to my last flight and pass out. Unfortunately, it wasn't going to be that easy.

You see, when I boarded in San Francisco, they were offering to store our carry on on the plane instead of in the overhead compartments. Purely optional mind you. Well, in my previous flight, mine had not fit into the overhead, so I said they could take it. Little did I know, that choice made a big difference and almost cost me my next flight.

We land in Philadelphia, and as I walk off the plane, there are no suitcases lining the walls as there had been on my other flight. Where was my carry-on??
I was going to wait till everyone got off the plane and go back to ask, but I got yelled at.
Nope, no turning back apparently. The security lady says to go to baggage claim.

In my head I'm thinking, " wouldn't be there with everything else...."

Nevertheless, I head over there. Half way I stop, call my sister, and turn to go back and ask someone who knows what they're talking about.

Nope, can't do that. They ALL yelled at me. Now I had to go through security again, which had an amusement park length line.

My flight was in 30 minutes. Awesome.

Below, I am showing you the route I took in this horrid airport to find my bag, and my gate, without missing my flight which was at 7:30am, meaning they probably board at 7:15am

(click on map to see bigger)

Yeah, the long part of the red line? That's the roadway for the buses, I ran the entire length of the airport.

The US Airways lady, literally saved the day. I went to talk to her downstairs in baggage claim, told her what was happening, she asked me what flight I was on and which I was trying to get to. I'm practically yelling at this point since my flight was in 20 minutes! She was great though, she said, "You better run honey! Just run all the way down, take the elevator up, and get to your gate, I'll take care of your bag."

One question as I'm running, "Which floor?"

I get to the elevators. Go up? Ok, top floor. Nope. That's the roof.
Ok, 2nd floor. Looks like parking.
I saw an airport looking person and yelled, how do I get to gate F???

She must have seen how desperate I was, and I was clearly lost, if I'm looking for a gate in the parking lot. She took me to the right floor and told me which direction to run.

Finally I'm at the entrance to gate F and there's a small line for security. Sigh.

But wait! It's 7:09am! I may not make it!

I seriously felt like pushing my way through the line, but I didn't. I was sweaty and tired now. People kept their distance....

I get to security, walk through fine...and my purse beeps. I left my stupid water bottle in it. Awesome.

So, I have to walk back to take it out, but I can't get my shoes on, and NO, I can't leave my shoes, I have to pick them up and carry them back. Take out the bottle, it has to go back through the scanner, all the while, I'm forcefully telling the attendants.."My flight LEAVES at 7:30. I HAVE TO GO."

Once through, great. More running. And let me tell you. I'm not a runner. Not even a jogger.

People were staring. Gaping really at this heaving mass stumbling passed old people, nearly getting ran over by little lazy people jeeps, when finally.......

I'm here! It's 7:15am. I gasp for air as I ask if it's boarding yet. Nope.

Yes. everyone is staring at me. I am quite out of breath, and quite's pretty gross.

I don't even care. just get me on that plane.

I checked if my bag was there, and right as we were boarding, I saw them load it on. I wanted to kiss the luggage loader I was so happy. No, no I didn't.

Once on the plane. I was out. If I snored, I apologize to all my fellow fliers. I didn't care. Just get me on the ground.

I hate flying.