Thursday, February 26, 2009

And He Lives....

So, Jeremy Bentham, this is who you've become huh?
Seriously, John Locke shows some potential, some real signs of maturity in this episode, especially in that line, " I was angry and obsessed."
Wow, how long did it take him to admit that?! But, unfortunately his cowardice won out yet again.

And Sayid....have you suddenly converted? Either you're working for the peace corp, or you've seen the light in the missionary life in the heavy heat of Santo Domingo...(Holy Sunday!!)
"Do some real good." He sounds pretty serious about it to me.

Poor, poor Matthew. I really liked this character and wanted to see him round out. But no, Ben had to splatter him across the pavement in an attempt to kill John. I'm sure he was a strange guy, but I trusted him. Either way, he's gone now, more time for Fringe I guess.

So, back to Locke's pathetic-ness. After everyone has denied his pitiful invitations, John find himself at Jack's hospital. Oh right, it's fate. Sure. Not your questionable driving and bad sense of direction in a stressful situation.
The real turning point was what Jack said to him, " What if you aren't special." -sorry if this isn't direct.
From then on, he sank back into self-pity and wallowed in his own pathetic existence. Enough, to bring him here:

But honestly, even if Ben hadn't interrupted him, I don't think he could've done it. And, well Jacob probably would've sent him a creepy old Alex Rousseau ghost or something to convince him, " he has more work to do."

So, why didn't Ben let John do his own dirty work? Obviously he needed all the information he could get out of him before he went through with his deviously murderous plan.

So, Ladies and Gentlemen, I hope you now STOP FALLING for Ben's tricksy and false speeches and such. He's a bad, nasty dude, believe it.

Friday, February 20, 2009


Alright, it has been brought to my attention that my previous post was pretty harsh.
No matter how i feel about someone's dog, that doesn't mean that's what everyone thinks.

I don't hate Ace at all, he is a fun cuddle-bug at times.
And to prove my sincerest apologies and love to this adorable little creature....
I present these photos...

Even dogs get camera shy after awhile...

Both pups, the scruffy one is mine!

That's love right there...

And, he was a cute puppy too :)

So, Ace, my dear. I'm sorry I called you hideous. You are not, and I love you.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

The horrid world of pocket pooches...

We all have devotion for our loved ones and share it different ways. We'd do anything for our families and friends and stick up for them through every obstacle.


There is a line. A very thick one. That separates love for our fellow man, and our love for this:

Yes, this is indeed a dog. An admittedly pitiful excuse for a dog, but nevertheless, that is its species. This is my sister's dog.

I'd say my sister and her husband are pretty normal folk. They pay their taxes, they eat pizza, and they watch American Idol. Just look at them, how weird could they be?

Well. You don't know their secret. They are OBSESSED with their pets. Here, let me explain....

It all began with the cats.


and KITTY, I know, groundbreaking....

They are your average, fat, lazy cats. But Kitty here, he had a vengeance to pay. He and Seth were the only men in my sister's life in the beginning, and he was simply determined to mark his territory.
At first it consisted of hisses and glares in his general direction, then things escalated...
Seth had some important papers, for work, on his desk. There they were, glowing with importance in front of those devious cat eyes, there was only one thing to do...thought Kitty.

The next moment, one could hear a loud man-scream, and an even louder manly-cat-scream and a good thump.

Seth had discovered the pool that Kitty's presence left behind on those papers and found that Kitty had an immediate appointment with his foot, and was seen flailing out the door.

So, a change was in order. The search for a low-maintenance dog (supposedly man's best friend) began...

You think that out of all the dogs one could choose, that this could easily be avoided. But, no. They brought home and rat, and called it a dog. And they named him ACE.

Close up, he looks pretty decent. But his face isn't the problem. It's his pathetic little body that causes some upset...

His neck is freakishly long, body disproportionate, and he can't even sit. His butt will not touch the floor, he's pretty much all legs which accordion together for a little squat. How that's comfy, I don't know.

The worst part is, they don't treat him like a pet. He's their child...really, just look.

They dress him up nice for holidays...

He has his own travel case for trips....

He even gets Christmas presents....

In addition to all these pleasantries, he also gets a spot in the seasonal family photo-ops...

nuzzling Daddy...

and with Mom....

If this isn't obsession I don't know what is....

SO. One would think they would be content with one bony rodent, but no. They've decided to enlarge the canine family. And I didn't think it could be possible, but this one's even worse...

Now presenting Ace's aunt Helen.

Seriously, this is gross.

Ace actually looks normal compared to her.

I'm afraid all hope is lost. They are blind to the literally naked truth squatting before them.
These dogs are hideous.

they're baaack....

Ok, this is a long time coming, I can't believe I haven't done this yet!
-the review of last week's episode "316"-

I had so many ideas and theories that night, hopefully I can scramble together some good ones now.

First and foremost:
Jeff Fahey. Really? REALLY? Why would you rid yourself of that rugged stache?
This new bare lip version of you is just NOT good.

The rest of the passengers present just as much turmoil within me...Such as Sun

Tell me, what will Jin be more upset about? That she is coming back to the island, or that she left behind their daughter?!

It stinks that Kate is hatin' on Jack. And she looked pretty rough on the flight, almost as bad as when she thought she was going crazy in "What Kate Did" where she was seeing horses and hearing Wayne via Sawyer.

And, did you notice this familiar face?

Mr. "my condolences" for Jack. He is too unique to be just an extra.
You may remember him from Vantage Point, as the mastermind behind the assasination.

where Matthew Fox was his partner in crime....

coincidence? Could there be an assasination being planned for Ben in the near future?
Which brings me to our dear Mr. Linus.

Why is Jack trusting Ben so easily? Normally, he would be questioning every decision, this ridiculous plane ride, everything! So why is he all of a sudden treating Ben like his wise and all-knowing mentor? And why hasn't he asked about the hideous massacre that happened to Ben's face?! Seriously, not even a chuckle or weird glance, just blind obedience? Can it be he is turning into an Other? .........I shudder to think if it.
Were those "loose ends" Ben had to tie up fighting back? Could it be he made an attempt on Penny's life, did Charles come to her rescue or Desmond?

And finally, Aaron. this poor little guy keeps getting passed around, he'll starting calling the bag lady at Piggly Wiggly "Mummie"

Did Kate contact Sun and they both dumped the babes at grandma Paik's?
"I found a new friend for you to play with..."-Sun

Too much fuss has been caused over this boy, he has to be important. Does he have power like Walt? I'm pretty sure that Mrs. Littleton still won't get to see him. At least not yet.

A List of Proxys
  • John Locke-Christian Shepard (resurrection in order....)
  • Ilana - Sayid's escort - Edward Mars
  • Frank Lapidus - Seth Norris (will he die by Smokey's hand?)
Things that made my eyes puddle a bit
  • Hurley buying the extra seats, trying to minimize lives lost...such a humanitarian
  • Hurley, bringing a guitar for know it is.
  • Kate on the rocks, man if that was how she would've met her end....Damon, Carlton, we need to talk.
  • Kate and Aaron.
  • Jack and the shoes

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Celebrity Tips 101 - Tip #1

Ok. So, if you are a famous so and so (or are planning on being one someday) who needs some advice on how to avoid the snarling packs of fans drooling over your are a few things to keep in mind...

If you're visiting:
  • Rent a normal car, escalades and mercedes don't exactly mesh

  • In addition to the auto-normalcy, buy a cheesy trinket at the gas station and hang it from the rear view mirror.

    Trust me, they're not hard to find. Dashboard dummies work too, bobble heads and all.

    If it were me, this would be my choice of sleuthing power. Nothing could cloak my appearance better than this!

    Believe it or not, this works. It says to oncoming eyes, "I'm a local, I'm not cool, I'm just a guy. Move along."

    If you're planning to live somewhere:
  • Hats and shades are always good

  • Don't share your name under any circumstances unless :
    1. you're pulled over, "Officer, I'm that awesome actor from that one show you love, want an autograph?"
    2. Just in case you need to seek immediate refuge inside a random person's home from a hoard of fans, things may go smoother if you let them in on it.

    --So, I know cash is quickly becoming obsolete, but if you don't want the entire kitchen staff at the Olive Garden hoopin and hollerin cause they saw your credit card, keep a stocked wallet.

  • Dogs are excellent cover. If you're walking a dog, you've lived here for years.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

The Age of Disorders....

We live in a time where there's a pill for everything.

Tired? take a pill
Depressed? take a pill
Moody? take two pills
Smoking? take a pill, and some gum
Restless legs? (seriously, if your legs are feeling particularly restless today) take a pill

So, apparently we all now have the power to create our own syndrome!

Here are a few I've cooked up that I'm SURE that I have,and many others too....
  • TTFW syndrome: when one is Too Tired For Work on a daily basis.

  • UTCYDFM syndrome : the horrible occurrence of being Unable To Cook, You Do it For Me syndrome (now this is serious!)

  • MFSNR syndrome : Now this affects people of all ages, and it's called the My Feet Sure Need Rubbin' syndrome and it's a doozy.
Ok, so these are silly, but here are a few that sound just as ridiculous, but are no joke, the real deal:
  • FLOPPY-VALVE SYNDROME: Mitral Incompetence due to myxomatous degeneration of the leaflets. (I don't know where my leaflets are, but I'm pretty sure they aren't floppy)

  • SHOULDER-HAND SYNDROME: Pain in shoulder and swelling in hand, sometimes occurring after Myocardial Infarction.(I wonder if it has to be simultaneous, or if you can just say, oh my hand! at 4:00 and Ah my shoulder! at 6 if it'll count)

  • DANDY-WALKER SYNDROME: Obstruction of Foramina of Magendie and Luschka in infants ------> Hydrocephalus. (Whoa, whoever got the job of naming this one needs to take one of those pills)

  • PICKWICKIAN SYNDROME: Symptom cluster: Obesity, Hypoventilation, Somnolence, Erythrocytosis. (Uf! It's like an Antique shop sale! PickWick Day: 4 for the price of 1!)

Now my personal favorite, and my current ailment, is LNS disorder. I've had this for awhile now and have accepted that I do, which is 64% of the battle right? (or is it 40%?)

The common term is known as Late Night Snacking disorder. Now this is a highly contagious disorder that can pass as quickly as a glance to the person sitting next to you's plate full of goodies. No kidding, this is serious stuff, and I've got it.

But, no worries. There is a cure, and it's highly effective. This marvelous LNS curing product is shown below...

Not only will you not see the food around you, but you can drown out the crunching and munching with these rare commodities known as ear plugs.

Finally, millions can have a peaceful night free from the craving chains of LNS.

(WARNING! This product will not work if there are mouth-watering scents surrounding you..)

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Poor Charlotte...

Ahh....another episode of LOST. Just gets you all tingly inside don't it?

Man was this a great one. Ben, you sly dog. I'm so glad this episode made Locke look ridiculous. Now I have no beef with Terry O'Quinn, but his character, I utterly loathe. John is irrational and emotional. He is always trying to be something he's not. And well, he's just not a Jack. :) (sigh)

Anyways...we had a blast as usual and arrived in style...

Carina put together a marvelous ensemble of Charlie clothes.

I decided to be Ana Lucia, but trying to find an expression was tough...
(NOTICE: not an actual bullet hole )

It seems all she really did was yell and...die.
"If you think that one gun, and one bullet is gonna stop them?! Think again....."

Carina did have an easier time getting into the British groove of things...

And, a creepy heroin addict mood as well...

So, back to LOST. Yes, Charlotte is dead, but are we really surprised? She wasn't exactly introduced as a lovable character. And they always kill off the annoying ones..
The thing that makes no sense is Daniel Faraday. He's always preachin' the same thing, you can't change the past, yada yada yada. BUT. What will he end up doing in the future/past? Meeting young Charlotte and telling her she'll die if she ever came back.
Pssh. Physicists.....

Goodbye Charlotte, sorry Faraday, enjoy your idiocy Locke.